This is by far the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Now that i'm not home with them i blame myself for everything that goes wrong. If they're upset, it's my fault. If they're sick it's my fault. They get sick from being in day care, and they're in day care because i'm at work, so it's my fault they're sick! If they're hungry, it's my fault because i'm not here to give them their favorite snacks. If they've upset their Mum, it's my fault. If Mum is running late for a meeting because she had to pick them up or drop them off at day care, it's my fault. If they don't sleep well at night, it's my fault. Being in day care has but them all out of funk because i'm not taking care of them during the day and keeping them on track. Me being back at work is completely disrupting my wife's job, and her ability to perform it well. I feel like i'm ruining everything for everyone and i'm miserable as a result. My wife is miserable and i feel i'm to blame. She's constantly on edge because the girls seem to be miserable from the minute they get home in the afternoon, to the moment they eventually fall asleep and things weren't this bad when i was home with them.
With me being at work we get zero time together now. This probably makes me more unhappy than anything else! I love my time with her. It relaxes me and energizes me all at the same time. I miss her.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Back to Work
You would think, judging by my most recent entry, that i'd be glad to be going back to work. Well i am, but not for the reasons you may think. I'm going to miss the girls terribly!
The time has come for them to get out and see the world. Meet people their own age, develop their social skills and the next thing you know they'll be moving out going to college in Spain! Seriousl though, i feel that i've done all i can for the girls to this point. We've built a bond that i wouldn't have had, had i stayed at work. I also have an understanding of them, and children in general, that i would never have known otherwise.
It's also time for me to get back into the work force and build on my career and support the family financially. Plus, i want an iPhone dammit!.....and i can't pay for one if i don't have a job! Of course, i have to actually get a job before i get too carried away, which could prove challenging in the current economic climate!
I'll miss their giggles when i get them up in the morning. I'll miss their hugs throughout the day. I'll miss out trips to Starbucks.......i could go on.
Wish me luck!
The time has come for them to get out and see the world. Meet people their own age, develop their social skills and the next thing you know they'll be moving out going to college in Spain! Seriousl though, i feel that i've done all i can for the girls to this point. We've built a bond that i wouldn't have had, had i stayed at work. I also have an understanding of them, and children in general, that i would never have known otherwise.
It's also time for me to get back into the work force and build on my career and support the family financially. Plus, i want an iPhone dammit!.....and i can't pay for one if i don't have a job! Of course, i have to actually get a job before i get too carried away, which could prove challenging in the current economic climate!
I'll miss their giggles when i get them up in the morning. I'll miss their hugs throughout the day. I'll miss out trips to Starbucks.......i could go on.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Life is peachy with twins.
I never wanted to write about the down side of having twins, or any baby at all, which is why i haven't written for so long! Unfortunately life just isn't peachy all the time when you have babies (or baby) even if we try to tell ourselves and those around us that it is.
"So how is everything going with the girls?"
"Oh great! They're just so cute and they're growing and learning so quickly. They're awesome!"
"You guys are so lucky. They're such good little girls."
Correction.
"So how are things going with the girls?"
"Well, not too bad i suppose. Although Jenn and i haven't had a full night sleep in about 2 months because they've decided they don't want to sleep through the night anymore. Even though they'd been doing it since they were about 4 months old now they wake up every night crying. Sometimes it's at midnight, sometimes it's at 4am and it's usually at least 2-3 times during the night! If it's not one of them it's the other......Jenn and i are at our wits end and just don't know what to do anymore. It's a constant struggle to get Jaidyn to eat anything and Kaitlyn is such a sook that if Jaidyn so much as looks at her sideways she cries so as a result there's alot of crying/whineing. I need eyes in the back of my head because if one of them isn't getting into something they're not supposed to the other one IS! I could go on but i don't want to bore you...."
Get the picture?
I'm ALWAYS tired. It's a constant struggle to stay on top of the housework, grocery shopping, yardwork, bills, balancing the bank account, cooking for the girls, and occasionally feeding myself!
Those smiles and cuddles are "gut renchingly" awesome, but the reality is (right now anyway) that life is just not all that peachy with twins!
"So how is everything going with the girls?"
"Oh great! They're just so cute and they're growing and learning so quickly. They're awesome!"
"You guys are so lucky. They're such good little girls."
Correction.
"So how are things going with the girls?"
"Well, not too bad i suppose. Although Jenn and i haven't had a full night sleep in about 2 months because they've decided they don't want to sleep through the night anymore. Even though they'd been doing it since they were about 4 months old now they wake up every night crying. Sometimes it's at midnight, sometimes it's at 4am and it's usually at least 2-3 times during the night! If it's not one of them it's the other......Jenn and i are at our wits end and just don't know what to do anymore. It's a constant struggle to get Jaidyn to eat anything and Kaitlyn is such a sook that if Jaidyn so much as looks at her sideways she cries so as a result there's alot of crying/whineing. I need eyes in the back of my head because if one of them isn't getting into something they're not supposed to the other one IS! I could go on but i don't want to bore you...."
Get the picture?
I'm ALWAYS tired. It's a constant struggle to stay on top of the housework, grocery shopping, yardwork, bills, balancing the bank account, cooking for the girls, and occasionally feeding myself!
Those smiles and cuddles are "gut renchingly" awesome, but the reality is (right now anyway) that life is just not all that peachy with twins!
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