Back to work i go.....

This is by far the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Now that i'm not home with them i blame myself for everything that goes wrong. If they're upset, it's my fault. If they're sick it's my fault. They get sick from being in day care, and they're in day care because i'm at work, so it's my fault they're sick! If they're hungry, it's my fault because i'm not here to give them their favorite snacks. If they've upset their Mum, it's my fault. If Mum is running late for a meeting because she had to pick them up or drop them off at day care, it's my fault. If they don't sleep well at night, it's my fault. Being in day care has but them all out of funk because i'm not taking care of them during the day and keeping them on track. Me being back at work is completely disrupting my wife's job, and her ability to perform it well. I feel like i'm ruining everything for everyone and i'm miserable as a result. My wife is miserable and i feel i'm to blame. She's constantly on edge because the girls seem to be miserable from the minute they get home in the afternoon, to the moment they eventually fall asleep and things weren't this bad when i was home with them.
With me being at work we get zero time together now. This probably makes me more unhappy than anything else! I love my time with her. It relaxes me and energizes me all at the same time. I miss her.

Back to Work

You would think, judging by my most recent entry, that i'd be glad to be going back to work. Well i am, but not for the reasons you may think. I'm going to miss the girls terribly!

The time has come for them to get out and see the world. Meet people their own age, develop their social skills and the next thing you know they'll be moving out going to college in Spain! Seriousl though, i feel that i've done all i can for the girls to this point. We've built a bond that i wouldn't have had, had i stayed at work. I also have an understanding of them, and children in general, that i would never have known otherwise.

It's also time for me to get back into the work force and build on my career and support the family financially. Plus, i want an iPhone dammit!.....and i can't pay for one if i don't have a job! Of course, i have to actually get a job before i get too carried away, which could prove challenging in the current economic climate!

I'll miss their giggles when i get them up in the morning. I'll miss their hugs throughout the day. I'll miss out trips to Starbucks.......i could go on.

Wish me luck!

Life is peachy with twins.

I never wanted to write about the down side of having twins, or any baby at all, which is why i haven't written for so long! Unfortunately life just isn't peachy all the time when you have babies (or baby) even if we try to tell ourselves and those around us that it is.

"So how is everything going with the girls?"
"Oh great! They're just so cute and they're growing and learning so quickly. They're awesome!"
"You guys are so lucky. They're such good little girls."

Correction.

"So how are things going with the girls?"
"Well, not too bad i suppose. Although Jenn and i haven't had a full night sleep in about 2 months because they've decided they don't want to sleep through the night anymore. Even though they'd been doing it since they were about 4 months old now they wake up every night crying. Sometimes it's at midnight, sometimes it's at 4am and it's usually at least 2-3 times during the night! If it's not one of them it's the other......Jenn and i are at our wits end and just don't know what to do anymore. It's a constant struggle to get Jaidyn to eat anything and Kaitlyn is such a sook that if Jaidyn so much as looks at her sideways she cries so as a result there's alot of crying/whineing. I need eyes in the back of my head because if one of them isn't getting into something they're not supposed to the other one IS! I could go on but i don't want to bore you...."

Get the picture?

I'm ALWAYS tired. It's a constant struggle to stay on top of the housework, grocery shopping, yardwork, bills, balancing the bank account, cooking for the girls, and occasionally feeding myself!

Those smiles and cuddles are "gut renchingly" awesome, but the reality is (right now anyway) that life is just not all that peachy with twins!

A New Chapter

We moved the girls into their new bedroom over the weekend. A room with some space! Space to play and move around, unlike their old room that was like a jail cell! It was ok when they were infants and couldn't go anywhere but now it's time to play, crawl/walk around, explore stuff and learn. The only problem is that their new room is next to our bedroom and we're so scared to make noise when we go to bed at night or get up in the morning that we tip-toe around like prisoners in our own home! We'll get used to it though........

Jaidyn has proven that she's a freak of nature and apparently doesn't need to sleep like other babies do. She'll go down for a morning nap, sometimes, and when i put them down for their afternoon sleep she'll sit up babbling for up to an hour! Meanwhile, Kaitlyn get's a little testy because she's tired and wants to go to sleep but she can't because her crazy sister is keeping her awake. When Jaidyn does eventually fall asleep sheonly sleeps for 1 to 1.5 hours and then starts babbling again, which wakes Kaitlyn up and then she's just pissed off! "Would you shut up Jaidyn! I'm trying to sleep!".

Sleep Time

13 months old and although they're still very easy babies i'm starting to understand why people say, "oh, you've got your hands full!" or, "oh, you're gonna have your hands full!". As they gain independence, and understanding of what's going on around them, they're becoming less managable. They're starting to control when they go to bed/sleep. They'll sit up in their cribs and talk, moan, laugh, cry or whatever for up to an hour in the afternoon. I need them to go to sleep....waiting, waiting....

How Time Flies!

Wow! Their a year old now and we're about to celebrate our first Christmas together. Well, the first Christmas that we're not absolutely delerious and don't know what day of the week it is!

They're starting to become independent. Able to think for themselves. Thoughts like: No, i don't want milk right now, thanks Dad. No, i don't want to sleep today, thanks Dad. No, i don't want to eat that chicken, or anything else for that matter, thanks Dad. hmmmm, there's a theme here.....
Today they've decided they don't want to sleep.

It's gonna be a fun evening!

The Night Off

Jen and i had the night off on Saturday! We woke up in the morning......at 8:30!!!!!! although i know we were both awake at 7am! Turned on the TV in the bedroom and relaxed with a hot cup of tea and watched the news. Ahhhh the simple things in life.
We watched as our freinds ran around after their toddlers on Saturday night and it gave me an idea of what i'm in for once the girls are walking. I just hope my girls aren't as crazy as those kids!

So.....Jaidyn has decided she doesn't want to sleep this afternoon. She thinks it's quite funny too. She's carryin' on like a pork chop, rolling around her crib making all sorts of noises while Kaitlyn, who obviously didn't sleep well last night, is tired and wants to sleep but she can't because her sis is keeping her awake! Needless to say, she's not happy about it! I walk in and she's kneeling in the corner again, tears streaming down her face. I pick her up to calm her down and then i try to settle Jaidyn down to help her go to sleep but she thinks it's the funniest thing that's ever happened. I take Jaidyn out of the room and put her on our bed. 5 minutes later i check on Kaitlyn........out like a light! Jaidyn on the other hand is still blowing raspberries and talking to herself.......